For those of you who have been with me on my blogging journey since the beginning, you will know all my ups and downs over the past year. For those of you who are new, it’s pretty simple. I was engaged. I got dumped. I moved on. I found my partner who I am with now. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell. It hit me that we are almost a year on and boy have I learnt a lot! I have learnt more than I ever thought possible. If you are going through a rough patch with your other half, or you’ve just been dumped then maybe this blog post is for you. You got this.
After being with someone for seven years, getting engaged and planning a wedding you really do think that everything will be alright. You never plan for the ‘what if’ moments or think about the worst case scenarios. In hindsight I should have known better.
The whole ‘dumping’ process lasted just over three weeks. It was a very confusing and dark time where I completely lost myself. I just wasn’t me but in that time I couldn’t see that.
Then it was all over. I remember this weird fog being lifted after hearing my ex tell me all of the reasons why he no longer wanted to marry me and why I was in the wrong. Why I was in the wrong? Oh honey. Everything became clear and in a split second I became one of those girls in a Rom-Com who sucks it up and says it as it really is. There was no chance I was going to let him get away with it.
A year on and I don’t regret a single word I said. In the early days after the break up, I wish I had said more perhaps. Now, I just wish him well.
If this blog post resonates with you and you’re feeling like you need a little reminder of how you can handle this then just know these three things.
- If when something like this happens to you and you didn’t see any of the warning signs, just stop. Stop and think about what truly makes you happy. I don’t mean the habit of them, but really and truly them as an individual. Do you want it to continue?
- Are you being true to yourself? Are your hopes and dreams equally as important as theirs? Are they supportive of you? Are they willing to sacrifice things for you? If the answer to all of these questions is no then you might have to have some honest conversations with yourself. Life is too short and knowing what I know now, I wish I had had those conversations earlier with myself.
- Before I met my partner who I am with now, I did not believe that relationships like ours even existed. I didn’t know that I could feel so valued and so loved by an individual who makes me feel so special each and every single day. As a realist and someone who has been hurt before, I know that I might be a little more cautious with my partner now but at the same time I have jumped in with two feet. I took that risk and I am so glad I did. Perhaps you have been with someone for several years now, you know nothing else, you’re getting a bit older and you are absolutely convinced you are doing just fine. Maybe you are fine and maybe everything is ticking along just swell. But maybe you have those reservations buried deep in the back of your mind that you would never say out loud. If the latter is what you are nodding along to whilst reading this, do something about it. Communicate. Be honest. Value yourself. I wish I had known this then.